searching.......

So I'm pretty sure I have PMS because for some reason I can't stop thinking about the perfect sunflower seed.....yes sunflower seed the kind you eat lol. The perfect sunflower seed the is perfectly shaped and coated with the most awesome amount of salt and it is the most elusive of the sunflower seeds to find, you would think that manufacturers would have perfected this process so that all sunflower seeds are of the same quality but of course night *sigh*...............the hunt continues

who decides??

Why do people say that the only person that controls your destiny is you?? That is clearly untrue because what I feel needs to be done to make me happy in any kind of way, I can do because I have things to take care of, responsibilities etc that stop me from doing what I want to do. What I want to do is leave my job to take some time for myself and sort things out, to be able to prioritize my life and to do some of the things that make no sense but bring me happiness. Unfortunately none of those things can happen because everything in this life costs money and without a job there is no money to pay for life, therein lies the viscious cycle that will never allow me to do what I want to do with my life, so who really does control my destiny??? I have no idea but it's definitely not me

nobody ever said it would be easy.....

I find it rather disconcerting that at the age of 29, I actually feel like I'm 60. Life seems to be draining me of any modecum of energy at every turn. So, I must ask myself, what is the point??? In the end when I look back will this spreading myself too thin and stressing myself out have been worth it on any level?? I'm really beginning to wonder.........and become concerned, all I can think about is when I can stop working because I'm so tired I feel like I could sleep for a month and it still wouldn't be enough. I force myself to do what I have to everyday, get up, get dressed, go to work etc. and of course who gets lost in the shuffle? The answer to that question I would have to honestly say is me, I'm the one that gets lost.......although much of the time I feel that I am lost already......on the bright side there is hope of a weekend away with the bestest friend in the whole world....unfortunately it just seems so far away :(

such a follower lol

So of course my Melissa has joined the blogging world and here I am following her like the leader she is lol

Hopefully at some point great profound thoughts will spill from my brain through my fingertips and onto the screen, unfortunately tonight is not the night for that lol